The mysterious case of the magic business cards

All companies have business cards. Well, most of them do, anyway. Avidmode does. But we recently ran out. So, what could we do but order some new ones? That’s where it all began…

A magical business card finish

We were going to try a new UK-based printing company this time, instantprint. As responsible consumers, we ordered their sample pack and brewed some waiting coffee. When it arrived, we found several interesting coating options for business cards.

But none so interesting as the one labelled “magic” finish. As soon as Kittie picked it up, the little sample business card offered us some excellent accounting advice. It must’ve seen what was on one of the office screens at the time. Safe to say, with this intellectual acumen combined with a silky-smooth feel, we were sold.

But when we got in touch with instantprint, they claimed to have never heard of such a “magic” finish. True enough, when we scrambled to find the sample copy as evidence, it had disappeared.

Victimless accident = new clients?

Slightly dejected by having to choose one of the non-magical finishes for our business cards, we nevertheless placed an order. The company held true to their promise of 24-hour dispatch. We waited with bated breath, both of us secretly hoping that one of the magic business card people would sneak into our package once again.

The delivery date came and went. No business cards. But strangely enough, we started getting calls from numerous people, all of whom were local but still strangers to us. They all inexplicably needed websites, or coaching or marketing services, for wildly different reasons. Thirteen new clients, their combined work totalling well over half a million.

When we left the house to walk the dogs in the evening, we stumbled upon what had happened. The delivery truck had slid off the road (thankfully, no one was hurt) and the box carrying our business cards had flown out the back and exploded in dramatic fashion, sending our brand new business cards flying to everyone in the vicinity.

As we started picking them up, we noticed that they were all made using the mystical “magic” finish. On the way home, the little cards offered us so much good advice, and we couldn’t wait to put it all into action. Tomorrow. Because we were tired now.

The end

However, as we woke up today, both the business cards and all the new clients had magically disappeared. Even the good advice had somehow scampered out of our minds. Except for one small titbit.

“People like April Fools’ Day. Write some bullshit. Thank me later.”

Thank you, mysterious magic business card. Now I finally understand Toy Story.

All the best,
Dan